


Stay.

by skatty



Series: School Drabbles [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, NILIFORV, Or More Like, Poor Yuuri, amirite, anxiety attack, okay that was stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 15:29:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8719114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skatty/pseuds/skatty
Summary: ... Yuuri had always been an anxious person ...





	

**Author's Note:**

> {{ This contains some anxiety attack things. If you are triggered by anything like this, don't read it. It's really not all too bad, but for others it might be. ♥ luv to everyone }}

The constant feeling of almost falling of a chair, like a wave going through his body, starting at the heart and going down to his guts. Again and again. Everything he could do was to lean forward, almost falling over, because the fear to be pulled back, to suffocate was too big.

He tried to catch his breath, clung to his own clothes and if felt like his whole body _stopped_

His heart _stopped._ His lungs _stopped_ working. But he was _still alive_ and he knew … that he should be **dead.**

This was Yuuri Katsukis definition of an anxiety attack and he was having one right now.

His vision got blurry and if felt like he was not here at all, everything seemed to be so far away, even Viktor … who was talking to the press in another room.

It was actually just down the hall, but Yuuri couldn't move.

 

 _Why am I not dead?!_ **  
** Went through Yuuris mind and another wave hit him, causing him to go down on his knees with a whimper.

 

 _Don't cry!  
_ His mind screamed but his eyes responded not the way he wanted them to. Tears streamed down his cheeks and another wave went through his body, accompanied by the usual thoughts.

 

_You are useless! Stop crying, they will see! Keep your emotions in stack!_

_Stop! Stop! Stop!_

_Yuuri!_

**Stop!**

 

Again and again, but the tears **did not stop,** they kept on streaming down.

  
**Stop! Stop! STOP!**

 

His body **didn't stop dying!**

 

„Yuuri!“  
Two hands firmly grabbed his shoulders and even though the Japanese looked up, his body continued to betray him.

 

„Breathe.“  
A simple request as this almost took everything from him, he tried again to catch his breath but he failed and choked.

 

„Heeeey … Yuuri...“  
The voice soothed and a hand softly rubbed over Yuuris back.

The anxiety still didn't cool down but his heart started pounding again, it felt like his body came back to life, but it still threatened to break down any moment again.

 

„V-Viktor ...“  
His words came out in sobs and Yuuri helplessly reached for the Russian who instantly tucked him in his arms and pulled him closer.

The feeling of anxiety got a bit less and another feeling mixed with his already troubled emotions.

 

**Safety. Love. Viktor.**

 

Things he had never truly experienced. Yuuri was of course loved by his family and few friends, but he never realized how important that feeling really was. He never really felt it, it has always been something that was naturally. The love of a family was nothing that could be declared, it came natural to him and he was never truly loved for who he was by someone who wasn't a family member. He never got to know someone who really wanted to be with him every second of the day.

 

And now he was at his lowest. Even his own body did **betray** him, the thing he was supposed to trust the most. It turned against him and Viktor **stayed.**

  
The Russian didn't mind the tears, he didn't mind his weakness, no … he even embraced his troubled feelings and he _loved._  

 

That thought alone made tears dwell in the Japanese eyes and his hands clung to the other as if he was the only thing that mattered, as if Viktor was the only person in this world who could safe him from the never ending abyss that seemed to be his miserable life.

More tears streamed down his face, he sobbed and he wanted to scream.

 

And again, the thoughts came back.

 

 **I don't deserve him!**   
His mind screamed.

 

 **He will leave!**   
It continued.

 

„I love you, Yuuri.“  
 **He whispered.**

 

 


End file.
